Survivors Speak
Project beneficiaries often provide the most powerful testimony of whether or not they have benefited from a project. Nine survivors attended a Lessons Learned Worksop held in Nepal in February 2008 where they shared their experiences and reflections on the project.
Sharada Malla, Rupandehi, Nepal: Sharada Malla was married early. After the marriage her husband and his family tortured her physically and mentally to gain control over the property that her parents had given her at the time of her marriage. Sharada sought help from FPAN and is now a member of a SSG. She received a micro-credit loan of Rs. 5,000 which she used to set up a business selling incense sticks which gives her an average monthly income of Rs. 5,000.
Effectiveness of Project Initiatives: In response to a question about the effectiveness of the CAG mechanism, Sharada said that it was working well as this was the body which provides strength and backup support to the SSG whenever it is unable to help the survivors. She suggested that an increase in the credit limit under the micro-credit facility would really help the borrowers.
Kamala Dhakal, Makawanpur, Nepal: Kamala was married at an early age to an alcoholic motor mechanic. She was tortured by the family. She got help from FPAN and is now the chairperson of one of the SSGs. With the loan of Rs. 6000 from the micro-credit programme she received training to become a motorcycle mechanic herself. She is now working with her husband as a motorcycle mechanic.
Effectiveness of Project Initiatives: When asked for her views on the micro-credit facility, Kamala said that, “Economic empowerment and social empowerment go together. Even my husband who was the perpetrator of violence looks at me differently now because I now have money. Now my husband has come back to me and we are both running the motorcycle repair shop together.” She felt that FPAN should help in marketing the produce of survivors. According to her the loan is not enough and one time help is not enough. FPAN should provide continued support on the quality of goods produced and then their marketing.
Radha Subedhi, Sarlahi, Nepal: Radha is from a poor family and was married at the age of 18. She was tortured by her husband’s family because her family did not provide a dowry. She finally had to flee her husband’s home with her daughter. With support from FPAN she is now the chairperson of a SSG.
Effectiveness of Project Initiatives: Radha explained how she helped other survivors as a member of the SSG and said that, “As members of SSG we approach the perpetrators to mediate and to counsel. We seek help from the police, administration as need be through FPAN. However, I feel that the survivors first need to be given basic education before being given income generation skills.” She also said that members of the SSG sometimes felt threatened in approaching the perpetrator and his family as people question their authority to intervene and act as mediators. In such situations some kind of formal written identification (i.e. a badge or visiting card) from FPAN would empower the members of the SSG in such situations.
Ishwori Basyal, Nawalparasi, Nepal: Ishwori was married at 15 to a man who was 45 years old because of social and economic pressures on her parents. She was tortured in numerous ways by her husband. Through support from FPAN she is now the chairperson of an SSG. She is also doing a six month training course on Maternal and Child Health (MCH).
Effectiveness of Project Initiatives: Asked how the course was helping her, Ishwori said that the support from FPAN and the training (e.g. skills development and advocacy to combat GBV) has helped her enormously. She also participated in street theatre along with other survivors. Key messages to the community included dangers of alcohol consumption, wife beating, birth of female children and appropriate nutrition for new mothers. According to her, after the MCH ourse people look at her ‘with different eyes’ and respect her word. After completing the training she would like to set up a low cost dispensary in her community as it is difficult to access local hospitals for medicine. She said she planned to educate her children and work towards reducing the maternal mortality rate (MMR) in her locality.
Purnima Hamal, Dhanusha, Nepal: Purnima was married at 15 to her brother’s brother-in-law. She has two daughters. Her husband and father-in-law have been in jail for trafficking girls. She was tortured because she had two daughters and no son. She has now moved back to her parent’s home. Her husband has since disappeared and she is now a member of an SSG.
Effectiveness of Project Initiatives: Purnima said that she had come into contact with FPAN through a close friend who worked at an FPAN clinic. Her mother tried to dissuade her from seeking FPAN’s help saying it was a family issue but she went anyway with encouragement from her sister and a friend. The first person she encountered was a man and she felt intimidated and did not feel comfortable talking to a man. She took part in other activities which helped her to gain confidence and develop speaking skills. She said that now she does not cry as often as she did. Responding to a question on how the screening process can be improved, she said that terai women are shy and may find it easier to talk about personal problems with females. She also noted that there is no separate space for screening in clinics so women find it difficult to talk.
Firouza Begum, Comilla, Bangladesh: Firouza is from a good family and is a graduate. She was married at the age of 18 and went with a dowry of one lakh taka. However her first child was a girl which led to demands by her in-laws for another dowry of 30,000 taka. She was tortured physically and emotionally when she was unable to comply with these demands. After the birth of her second daughter she was sent back to her parents’ home. She contacted FPAB and was able to attend training on fish culture. Her husband has now joined her and together they own seven fish ponds and have earned 9 lakh takas in 3 years. Firouza is now a 19 member of a SSG. She knows the pain of survivors and continues to work in the community on issues of early marriage and domestic violence.
Effectiveness of Project Initiatives: Firouza said that she was thankful to FPAB and she is even now referring women to FPAB for mediation. She succeeded in stopping two early marriages. She gives counselling on sexual and reproductive rights, violence against women who are pregnant and organises street theatre. FPAB, she said, has changed her life. She suggested that the loan amount under the micro credit programme should be increased to enhance its effectiveness.
Reshma Khatun, Rajshahi, Bangladesh: Reshma is the daughter of a rickshaw puller. She fell in love with a classmate whom she married. Their marriage was not accepted by her in-laws and they therefore started living on their own. After some months Reshma’s husband began demanding money from her parents and subjected her to physical and emotional violence. She also said that once at night her in-laws had tried to kill her. With support from FPAB she was able to secured legal support for a divorce and was able to fight for compensation of 54,000 taka from her in-laws. Reshma is now studying for her intermediate examination. She is also learning singing and has joined a cultural group. She works as an activist against early marriage and domestic violence. Reshma said that early marriages should be stopped and all marriages should be registered.
Effectiveness of Project Initiatives: Referring to her experience of early marriage, Reshma said that girls should not get married before 18 years. She suffered a lot and shared her experiences with her classmates. Discussing the role of FPAB, she said that it was because of them that she was able to fight for compensation from her in-laws which she has deposited with the post office. As a result, her mental attitude has changed now and she feels more confident and can speak out on issues. Her ambition is to be a famous singer.
Bandana, Mymensingh, Bangladesh: Bandana was married at the age of 17. Violence during pregnancy because of dowry demands by her husband resulted in a miscarriage. The violence continued and increased following a subsequent pregnancy and when she gave birth to a girl child. The Family Development Centre (FDC) counselled the family and offered 1000 takas as a loan from the Mukti Fund. Bandana was able to buy three hens with the money, organise ANC and PNC checkups and pay for a midwife for safe delivery. The effect of all this was that family is now cooperating with her and even allowed her time to rest during and after the pregnancy even though she again gave birth to a girl. She has paid off the loan and secured a fresh loan of 3000 taka.
Effectiveness of Project Initiatives: Asked how useful the money from the Mukti Fund was, Badana explained that with the money she had purchased three hens. She consumed the eggs during her pregnancy and later sold the eggs to repay the loan. She can now go for health checkups and is able to advise others on family planning. Responding to a question on whether she was feeling empowered now, she said she can now move out of the house without her husband’s permission or company to visit the doctor, her parent’s house and can take her children with her. She can also spend the money that she is earning herself.
Monju Begum, Barisal, Bangladesh: Monju was married at 17 years to a much older man. He refused to accept her first pregnancy and was physically abusive. With support from FPAB and a loan of 3,000 taka under the micro credit scheme, she has able to purchase a goat and some hens and is also selling food at the ferry ghat to support herself and her two children. She has applied for a divorce and is waiting for the case to be settled.
Effectiveness of Project Initiatives: Monju said that she feels more confident now and can go out to buy and sell products for her business. She takes her children to school and is also distributing information on child marriage and safe motherhood etc. She feels self-sufficient.